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Surviving, Not Living

Rizouana P.

I am exhausted trying to survive

Following the same footsteps every day

Pushed back to the starting point 

Just when I thought I was done

How far is the finish line?

 

I am frustrated trying to fight an invisible enemy

“Wash your hands for twenty seconds”

“Stay home”, “practice social distancing”

These phrases are constantly running through my mind

When did I become an animal locked up in a cage? 

 

I am drained witnessing quarrels

The branches of my family tree are continuously moving further away

Surviving under the same roof yet so distant

How did we get so caught up in our own worlds?

 

I am tired of being a night owl

An owl who is easily affected by the negative thoughts

My moods have turned into water waves

Upon arrival, they are filled with memories and excitement

As they gradually recede from my mind

They leave me feeling empty and hopeless

 

I am abandoned in a loop of survival 

I no longer want to be an animal stuck in a cage

I want to be a bird flying in that blue sky

I want to fill my lungs with fresh air

I want sunlight to reflect on my brown skin

I want to live

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Isolation

Michi S.

I remember that time like a dream

With them every day

Reliving it in my mind 

and wanting it as much as a child wants a sweet

When everyone was normal.

 

Suddenly, we wake up and there is a monster 

That we usually call the virus

Killing people and we need to be careful

If we trust him he can kill us too

We believe that it is a joke and that this is not happening.

 

Then, the monster is stronger

He scares everyone and sends them home

And here we are, in isolation because

We don’t want the monster to be stronger

We need to kill him and return to normal life.

 

It is harder when I feel alone

In this quarantine, the head works like a backward clock

Thinking about this past and realizing the things that no are good

That the people that loved me and the good times

They went away like ephemerals flying

And it was beautiful to see you go 

Until it feels heavy to feel the emptiness in my heart

We are thinking about the present, but what about the future?

We think that the future does not exist

That maybe this is the end.

 

Because if we think about the future…

We imagine it as the apocalypse

And now we trust that God is coming 

That soon the trumpets will sound in heaven 

and that many people will beg to go to heaven.

​

When will this stop?

Will there be a cure?

Or is it the end?

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We Forget

Nadilka H.

Are we ungrateful? 

Do we have the right to be mad?

A lot of people are dying out there. 

It is fair to be mad because we can’t go out?

Are we selfish?

Sometimes we forget that other people have problems too.

We forget that we are not alone.

We forget that we are human

And we are supposed to go through the dark to see the light. 

We forget how blessed and lucky we are

Just because we are alive.

We forget that life is like a question and we are the answer.

We forget to focus on the things that really matter.

We forget that God exists.

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Quaran-time for yourself

Ayesha P.

There’s an unexpected catastrophe hitting the Earth.

It makes us no work, no school, no everything in the outside world.

No meeting in the mall, cafe, restaurant. Not even a physical contact.

Yet, here we are, inside the house.. losing our minds.

 

Maybe a lot of stuff is going through inside our heads. 

Thinking about how we can go outside and be able to get back in— healthy. 

But instead, think of this way. This is your time.

Your time to focus on yourself because back then you didn’t have to. 

 

Reconnect with your families. Message your friends. 

Meditate. Explore your skills. Express your emotions. 

Take this as an opportunity to love yourself again.

Remember that this is just a phase, and we should be strong to face it.

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It will be possible

Genesis A.

Will it be…

Possible that this pandemic ends?

That everything can be as before?

Will everything improve?

Will it be ...

Possible that everything returns to normal?

That we can go out without masks?

Will it be...

Possible for the rainbow to come out in this storm?

May we find peace and tranquility?

Will it be…..

Possible that we go out into the street with peace?

Without thinking that we could get infected?

To stop feeling like a bird in a cage?

Like a lion in the zoo?

Prisoners in our own houses?

Will it be…

Possible to stop getting angry for wanting everything to be like before

Sadness for every person who passed away

Desperation for wanting to go out

Anxiety about wanting to do something

Will it only be ......

Possible that we return to our normal life? ......

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The humanity is scared

Victor R.

A virus that spreads like fire and has come to scare many people, a virus that has made many humans doubt if this would be the virus that would exterminate humanity.

 

We have gone to the extreme of not even leaving the house for days, wondering how to survive without money or without food, thinking about how to get money because most have been expelled from their jobs, causing them to have depression, and making them take drugs as a flaw.

 

Humanity is living like a scared dog at home hoping that these days will come to an end.

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Happiness was never written her fate 

Pratima B.

​

She never felt her life more hard than this because when she was outside she loved it.

 

She is devastated because she can’t go out. She wants to see the sunshine and people laughing, children’s playing and out of it all, she wants to be happy. She was the person that loved to explore and see new things because she felt like she was at home .when she saw those buildings and the people being happy.

 

She never felt happy when she was in her house because her family never made her feel like that. Her father made her feel like she was just born to be perfect. She had to be perfect and if she wasn't perfect, she was just a disgrace. Her mother made her feel like she was just there to cook and clean because she was preparing her for life when she married someone and she needed to do it. Her brother and sister made her feel like she was not enough and hated her for being their sister.

 

She knew her family would never ask if she was okay or she needed anything. Her family never knew how she felt and how much she wanted to give up and just be happy. They never cared if she was hungry, if she was sick or if she was sad. They just cared if she was perfect or not. She has to be perfect for them.

 

After the lockdown started, she never smiled. Even if she did, anyone could tell that she was hurt and just wanted to give up. Her father blamed her for not being careful when she fell from stairs. Her mother blamed her for being hurt when she was cooking. Her siblings blamed her for crying every night. She was blamed for everything. Now she just wanted to give up.

 

One day when she was just sitting there and doing her work., her father came to her and asked “show me your grades. She didn’t say anything and just showed him her grades.He saw the grades and started to scream at her for getting 90% or 80% on some subjects. He said how much she made him feel embarrassed. He said,“If you want to be perfect you need to do it perfectly. How will the others think?  They will say that my daughter is not perfect and they will not respect me. They will not be happy. I am not happy and you better make this 100% before anyone finds out and if they do you know what I will do to you. Do I make myself clear?” and she said yes. She was crying her heart out that night. She asked God to kill her for the hundredth time that day but he never listened, so she just smiled and said, “Tomorrow will be better and I Will be happy and I will smile.” Even though she knew this would not happen, she believed in God and her fate.

 

The next day she was cooking for her family but she made a mistake and made the food spicier and all of the family members started to blame her for everything. Her mother said she didn’t know how to do anything. She is a girl that can’t do anything and how much she wanted her daughter to die and how much she regretted having her and loving her. She didn’t say anything. She just listened to what her mother said and it broke her into a million pieces but she stayed quiet. She again asked God to kill her and today she didn’t say that tomorrow will be better or she will be happy because she knew happiness was never written in her fate.


Another day came but she was still not happy because she accepted that she was never going to be happy. She accepted that she was never going to smile and make others do the same. She accepted that she was just a disgrace to her family and she will never be perfect for them. She was just waiting for this all to be finished but it never did but the disease was only spreading and making her more hurt and more sad. She never felt more broken and lonely. She just wanted to smile. She forgot how to smile, she forgot how to laugh and most importantly she forgot how to live because she was just living how others wanted her to live and they wanted her to live like she was nothing but a person who will be controlled by others.

 

Everything stayed the same. The same old days repeated, the days where she would get scolded or put down by her own family members, and that time she understood. She didn’t need to ask God to kill her because she was killed every day by her own family members and she needed to accept that she will never be happy at home.

 

If she wants to feel happy and smile, she needs to go outside but she can’t go because of the disease that is killing and spreading like a rapid-fire. She just needs to wait to be happy but she knows even after this all ends and she can go outside,he will not be happy and feel like she deserves happiness and be able to smile. That has been forgotten.

 

This is how she felt when she was living at home. “HAPPINESS WAS NEVER WRITTEN IN HER FATE”.

 

Note from the author: I just wrote a story that I imagined but this could be happening to someone. So please if you see a person who is always smiling and always happy, please ask them if they are okay or not because they could be the most broken one.

m your collection.

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Lost Souls

Maybelline F.

Out of my hands, Out of profesionals' hands,

Many roses dying, Many souls 

thrown into the dark room, 

or could it be in a peaceful room, could it be?

​

You are taking hopes away

You are giving desolation.

​

Hugs are of value now

​

You make people 

be far away from people they love, 

When are you going to stop?

​

You took 

my hope away.

You took many hopes away. Nothing is normal, 

people unconscious are fighting 

 to  return to their home body.

 

The room is as cold as the north pole,

as dark as a demon soul.

It smells of suffering, screaming 

and fighting to get out.

 

I’m sorry, Earth 

maybe this is one of your revenge for

not taking care of you, you want to rest from us.

 

We together can close the door 

so no more people are sent to the dark room.


One day everything is going to 

be as normal  as it used to be. Hugs, kisses, no mask, 

no death, we are going to make a war  and you 

will die too. 

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 I don’t know how to live anymore 

Pratima B.

I don’t know how to live anymore 

These sounds are eating me alive

The sound of cries 

The sound of dying 

The sound of sadness

The sound of rain drops 

The sound of my dying heart  

But I still have to listen to it 

 

I don’t know how to live anymore

The words are making me cry 

I love you but it’s meaningless

I miss you but you don’t mean it 

I need you but you already have someone 

I love her and you smiled 

I miss her and your eyes shined 

I need her and you cried

But I still have to take those words 

 

I don’t know how to live anymore 

The feelings are making me numb 

I love you but you love her 

I miss you but you only have her in your mind 

I need you but you left me with silence 

My feeling are everywhere now 

You know everything but you still choose to ignore it 

But i still need to smile for you 

I don’t know how to live anymore 

The world is making me sad 

They say I matter but where

They say I am needed but for whom 

They say I am loved by who 

They say i am missed but who did 

They say I am beautiful but why am I a mess?

They say I smile a lot but they don’t see the pain behind it 

They say I am perfect but my perfection doesn't matter

They say I need to live but i am already dead 

But I still need to live for the world 

 

I don’t know how to live anymore.

Four AM

​

 

I feel like I am trapped in a nightmare

Where I am constantly doubting my existence

I am unsure of who I am

Or whom I want to be

 

Gradually I am losing my leaves

I no longer blossom

I am no longer a shelter for my people

I am afraid a sudden storm will destroy my existence

Leaving me uprooted  

 

My mouth is a grenade

Any sudden moment it explodes

Destroying the people around me

The smoke darkening my gloomy world

 

I feel like I have become a burden

Which everyone wishes to get rid of 

It only brings them pain and pressure

Useless and heavy

 

I am tired of me

My anger and rudeness

My behavior and my existence

Every day I want to disappear 

Away from everything and everyone

Rizouana P.

Relationships during COVID

Michi S.

The only thing that I think is 

Am I a hateful person?

Because I’m like Jhonny Bravo thinking about himself

Because I feel that everyone hates me

That they think that I’m the worst person in the world

I think that my mom sees me like the worst daughter

Because I’m like a doll without feelings and without life.

 

Because she never listens and is like talking with a wall 

And I think that all the parents are like walla

But when we have troubles they are worried about us

But where are they when we feel alone and depressed?

When we try to let off steam they never listen

When we are crying they are worried like a dog for their owner.

 

I think that my relationship with my boyfriend will die for both our moods

We are like a cat and dog, fighting each other for our differences

we are like penguins being faithful each and fixing our differences

Because we know that we have each other

Because more than a couple we are very good friends

And I know that if this love die or someone kills this love

He will be there as a friend.

 

But when you are alone

You ask yourself  many questions that you can’t answer

And that nobody knows the answer

Because life is complicated there are many doubts…

 without any answer.

Isolation

Nadilka H.

Everything changed since pandemic started.

Staying home for safety.

Online classes.

Missing going out.

Overthinking

All the emotions mixed.

Trapped, lonely, bored, sad, scared, depressed 

Hoping that all of this will end.

Wishing that this would be a movie, a dream, or nightmare. 

In that way we will wake up soon.

Isolation feels like we are in jail. 

When will be able to be free again?

If everything happens for a reason what reason could this be?

Feeling are going crazy.

How are we supposed to feel?

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Life change

Domenica P.

Our world is on hold

For a pandemic

We don't know the true story of this pandemic

Will this be the end of this bad world

For the start of a real paradise


 

I feel like actually

This is a great time to get to know our families better

Enjoy every moment with them

Although some people cannot pass the same

Not being able to share with their family 


 

This quarantine helped me to know myself 

Realize how I really am

Gave me time for myself 

Socialize


 

Now all the people with their mouth masks

This world will not be the same

You will no longer see people hug each other

Give yourself a wave

This pandemic changes everything         

 

 

Even animals can enjoy

World peace

No humans

Without pollution.

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We Need to Reflect 

Luis R.

COVID-19 enemy of everybody

Where all people are separated from their family

Where people are scared 

Where people are fighting for their lives at work

Where thousand of people are dying every day

Where people get depressed in quarantine every day

Where people are having problems with the economy because they are running out of work

 

COVID-19 is like a monster

Where the doctor is superman for everybody the future of humanity 

Where nurses and doctors are traumatized because of people dying every hour 

Where doctors get separated from their family to save other lives

Where students are not getting their graduation, trip and prom

Where 2020 is the terrible year for all

Where COVID-19 and 2020 are looking at us and laughing at our sadness

Where people think that Staying at home is like a prison 

Where people need to go outside to find food for the family

Where people are new in this country and they survive with the money that they get from the work.

Where millions of people are fighting for their lives

Where crazy things happen by quarantine

Where people think that social distancing is a joke because they believe that COVID-19 is not dangerous 

Where We have to stay at home and social distance because if we continue not doing the social distance, COVID-19 not going to have an end, we have to make social distance we must stop the spread, we are together in this situation and not diseases going to stop humanity this is not the end.

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History of Mrs. Lucy in times of quarantine.

Ever H.

Mrs. Lucy has been involved in cleaning work in the state of New York. But since the outbreak of coronavirus in New York, due to precautions taken by her and the owners of the places where she works, they decided to cancel her employment. This happened in the month of February of the year 2020, since that date she has been unemployed and has remained Inside her home for fear of contracting the disease and infecting her family. In addition, she has been desperate because she’s a single mother of two children and gives them what they need. She says that the experience of being unemployed is difficult, and the worst of all. She has the obligation to pay the rent for her residence, electricity, gas, cleaning products, and food. Lucy does not have access of help from the US government because she is undocumented.

 

 Despite being desperate, Mrs. Lucy has been sharing pleasant moments with her daughter, they have been cooking together, have been having interesting conversations and she has accompanied her daughter when she does her homework from the school. The reason that Lucy only has been sharing with her daughter in this moment of isolation, is because her son is living in his home country. She has only been able to maintain contact with her son through social networks. Lucy is worried because lately, she has been spending money, for this, she hopes that the coronavirus pandemic can be controlled soon so that the State can open so she can work soon.

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Dayanara R.

Poems about hope

Poem #1

​

Our fingers are all crossed

​​​​​As we all hope for a cure

A cure to end the pandemic of COVID 19

Which has killed many more than Ebola in 15 

Friends have journeyed to the land of the dead

Enemies have journeyed as well

We are now united by sympathies but still divided by entities

Our compassions cannot travel beyond the walls of our rooms 

We are now left to succumb to the limitations set by W.H.O

​​​​​​As that is better me and you 

 Our fingers are still crossed

As we hope for a cure 

A cure to make things get back to how it used to be like before.

​

Poem #2

​

The hope is the only thing we have during times
But we are all in this together

We are not gonna give up

As well as we are a union for other things we can do the same for these times

And its true many people are getting disappointed, but we are all in this together

There is something we need to learn about it, DON’T GIVE UP

We are gonna pass this times of quarantine

Like we always do

There is no reason to have negatives vibes, as well as we are a union 

We need to leave behind the bad vibes, we need to be strong and focus on our own protection. We are all in this together, we are not gonna give up

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Anonymous

Poem to Coronavirus

Currently , we are dealing with you, son of a bitch 

You make feel tired, depressed, worthless and slow as fuck like a caracol 

You make me feel like a prisoner in his fucking prison trying to escape,

But at the same time trying to stay.

You make me feel bored, miserable, and like I miss going outside when I really don’t.

You give headache, anxiety, and make me feel dizzy as fuck everything I get up from bed. 

Every day I resent you coming to this city

Because of you, I’m not able to 

bother my teachers and friends, 

take a walk outside, 

feel the fresh air in my hairy skin, 

hear other people talking about their life, 

see other people conversing in the train, 

feel the music retumbando mis odios while I try singing it as low as I can but also enjoying it like I’m at a concert. 

 

But at the end of the day, not everything you cause is bad.

You make me spend more time with my mom.

Which makes me happy. 

Playing with her a game called “parchís.” 

I have taken online dance classes which makes me frustrated 

But at the same time makes me feel alive. 

You have made me realize how I really am and that I'm  worth it. 

You make me realize that I am smart, funny and beautiful. 

You  remind me to take care of my skin and hair. 

You put me to read different books, which can take me to a whole other world. 

 

Do you know, I’m learning from you, bitch. 

I learned that you can't get close to anyone because you destroy them,

Making them lose their breath like pollitos mojados. 

Making them feel tired like they have been running in the Olympics. 

Creating a high fever, as if they were in hell when they are really not. 

I have lost hope with you! 

I hope you never cross paths with my family or my loved ones.

But I also learn about myself, 

I learn that I can be so paranoid when it comes to having people almost close to me, 

And that’s on you! 

You make me more scared than I was before, and it doesn’t feel right. 

 

I wish you would go away, like the birds when they are going to migrate.

I wish for us humans to get past this in a faster way. 

I wish I would never see you again, because if I saw you,

I would spray Emisol and alcohol at you, motherfucker! 

I hope people never face you ever again in their lives, 

But I also wish that 2020 would come back. 

In a better way, without such a painful and raw situation! 

To come back in a way that we can be fucking free, without being so isolated from everyone. 

I wish time would come back, 

and we could learn to appreciate it!

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Lessli M.

Isolation

Loneliness begins consumed by the pain 

When there's a light of hope 

The darkness comes again 

And once again isolated from

the world, 

the freedom 

the people

When is this torment going to end?

When is the suffering going to end?

When is the death of people going to end? 

When is the virus ending ?

Many questions about the end, but what about a new start?

Our nations have hope for this hard time

Can our nation be prepared for the worst ?

Are all the nations going to overcome this obstacle? 

This Killer, Hurt, Damaging of health, Of lives,

Our loved ones, all of this because of a Virus”...

This the time when we should all be together 

And we are so apart

day by day,

Trying to find hope but our lucid dreams lead into pain

Our nightmares of our loved ones being in danger

The fear of the next the person to be gone 

The fear of the virus 

The fear of losing someone

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